Through the years, my appreciation for deliberately developing language skills has grown. On this blog, I have mentioned several themes in the use of constructive and effective language. Here are a few examples:
1. Improve your questions: in the post
Effective questions for helping and providing direction examples are given of solution-focused questions that can be helpful in many contexts like helping, managing and self-coaching. Improving your questions will probably help you achieve your goals more pleasantly and quickly. As Marilee Adams says: ‘Great results begin with great questions.’ One person who uses this wisdom is Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, who says: ‘We run the company by questions, not by answers.’
3. Improve language wisdom: the post
Speaking words of wisdom explains how many people, with increasing age, use more positive and fewer negative affect words, use fewer self references, use more future-tense and fewer
past-tense verbs, and demonstrate a general pattern of increasing cognitive complexity. The effect is
Positive Emotion Regulation. The post
Language use and mental health shows that good health is associated with a limited use of first-person pronouns, and with a relatively high use of causal words (because, cause, effect).
4. Improve your No: the post
The importance of saying No gracefully explains how No is one of the hardest words for us to say. But, if we can learn how to say it gracefully, if we can learn how to say it positively, I believe it can really help transform our personal lives, our work lives and the larger world.
This interview with William Ury explains how to say No positively.
5. Improve healing language: Greek philosopher
Aeschylus once said: “Words are the physicians of a mind diseased”. And this is true. Several types of language use can have downright healing effects. For instance, take the technique of
normalizing. Normalizing is used to depathologize people’s concerns and present them instead as normal life difficulties. It helps people to calm down about their problem. It helps them realize they’re not abnormal for having this problem. Another example of such a technique is
reframing. Reframing is a technique which places what has happened or what has been said in a positive light (for instance assuming a positive intention or pointing at a positive effect). Yet another technique is
Mutualizing. Finally, there is the technique of
Creating an expectation of positive change.
More and more, I am beginning to believe that improving your language is an excellent way of improving the quality of your life.
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